5 Things to Teach Your Child with a Disability

Having a disability may make your child's educational journey and eventual path to employment bumpier than their peers, but it doesn't mean they cannot reach the same goals. Here are some of the lessons I taught my young daughter as she worked to overcome the obstacles thrown in her way due to her rapidly progressive hearing loss. These are the same things I learned as a child who also dealt with a significant hearing loss.

1. Teach your child to educate.

Give your child the words to explain their disability in age appropriate language. From the time I could talk, I told other children that I needed hearing aids to hear better just like some people needed eyeglasses to see better. By being open and neither ashamed nor embarrassed, it helped to put my classmates at ease. They didn't need to wonder, whisper or tease. My hearing aids were no longer foreign objects to them and they found it easier to accept me as I was. Children are curious by nature. Practice asking relevant questions with your child so they become comfortable fielding and answering them from their classmates and friends.

2. Teach your child to advocate.

Your child should understand that it is their responsibility to ensure that their needs are met. In school settings parents are not there and teachers may be busy or unaware of problems. Issues come up daily so it is best for your child to learn to recognize them and be prepared. Help them establish independence and to find their voice as young as possible. When they need to speak up for themselves they will have both the experience and the confidence to do so.

3. Teach your child to focus.

Children and adults alike pick up emotional and social clues with the use of visual and auditory cues such as facial expressions, body gestures, what people say and how they say it. Teach your child to be attentive and to face someone who is speaking and also that they should directly face people when they're speaking to them. Focusing is an important skill that is more easily learned at a young age and it will reap great rewards.

4. Teach your child the power of humor.

Humor is a wonderful tool, especially for a child with a disability. Growing up, I experienced many embarrassing and difficult situations, but I usually managed to find the humor in them. By not taking things too seriously I turned uncomfortable situations around, and in turn earned respect from my peers.

5. Teach your child that no one is perfect.

Many people don't have physical disabilities or visible problems, but their lives are far from perfect. Realizing this, I never pitied myself and I have always been open about my disability. It may not be easy, but your child has everything to gain by having a conversation about it early on. Typically, people are much more understanding and patient when they are aware that something is difficult for you to do. By exhibiting this kind of self-confidence, it also sets the tone for how people will view and react to your child.

While being a child with a disability is not easy, it is important for parents to teach them advocacy skills and coping strategies and also to instill self-confidence at a young age. By doing so, the roads of education, employment and relationships will be a lot smoother.

Paula Rosenthal, J.D. (she/her) is deaf and uses cochlear implants to hear. Her husband and one of her three children also use cochlear implants. Paula is an award-winning advocate for people with hearing loss and their families. She blogs at PaulaRosenthal.com and is available for speaking engagements. To contact her, please send an email to thepaularosenthal@gmail.com.

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Oh, Yeah, I'm Deaf - Turning a Disability into a Superpower

Having hearing loss used to be an obstacle, then it became my superpower.

Mom of 3 kids, law school grad, suburban housewife, serial entrepreneur and oh, yeah, I'm deaf. The one thing that was never really a big deal while growing up, suddenly became a central focus during adulthood. Out of necessity, I used what many would consider a disadvantage and turned it into an asset. Coupled with my "there's always a silver lining" outlook of positivity, my deafness propelled me into a world where I have helped thousands of people deal with issues related to theirs or their child's hearing loss.

I never set out to be a role model but life is funny that way. The universe sent out strong smoke signals that were simply too big for me to ignore.

Read on for the story of how I got there, where I am today and what this means for you.

Back in 1992 I graduated from law school, one of only two people admitted with a physical disability my year. The other person was completely blind and I had a profound, bilateral hearing loss. We used to debate who had the "better" disability to have, each claiming our own. I didn't realize it then, but it was a testament to how our families had raised us, to always keep moving forward and not let our disabilities define us or what we could achieve.

Truthfully, growing up had been easy for me. I was talking and reading ahead of my diagnosis at three years old and was immediately fitted with hearing aids. For a long time my powerful hearing aids and expert speech-reading skills kept me afloat and I sailed my way to my first-choice college, far from home, unaware of the troubled waters ahead. While college had a lot of ups and downs, (largely due to my lack of self-advocacy skills) I managed to finish on a high note. I spent a few semesters on the Dean's List, rebooting my self-confidence after a rocky freshman year when I had been placed on academic probation and nearly flunked out of school.

While in law school I married Howard, a terrific guy who, like me, was entrepreneurial and just happened to have hearing loss too. Soon after my graduation we moved to Long Island, New York, started a family and began to develop a string of businesses.

Life seemed idyllic but the blissful bubble was about to burst.

The month we had our second child, our firstborn was diagnosed with hearing loss. She was 23 months old and we learned she also had significant speech and language delays as a result of the late diagnosis. Thus began a super stressful chapter in my life that was filled with anxiety, fear and uncertainty - not exactly the way I expected married life or motherhood to go.

Navigating the world as a parent of a child with special needs is, in a word, difficult. Researching special education programs, learning about Individualized Education Programs (IEPs), understanding parental rights in the special education process, honing much needed negotiation skills, along with finding qualified medical, therapeutic and educational professionals suddenly occupied most of my time. Coupled with the all too common cycle of grief, anger, guilt and sadness that comes with a diagnosis of a disability, not to mention a newborn baby, it was an incredibly overwhelming period.

I resolved to learn everything I could and began participating in a parent support group, attending workshops and joined a global organization supporting parents whom I thought were like me.

At my first convention I came face to face with another parent who expressed utter disbelief that I had graduated from college

despite my hearing loss.

Upon learning that more than 90% of deaf children are born to hearing parents, I realized that I was not quite like most of the other parents. It dawned on me that I was in a unique position where I could help others to better serve their children through awareness and education.

With two young children to care for and newly settled in the Midwest for a school that would help teach my child to listen and speak, I embarked on a brand new journey.

I designed and founded a community website called HearingExchange.

There I hosted live chats and message boards, wrote syndicated articles and newsletters and quickly connected people with valuable resources and services.

HearingExchange led to numerous speaking engagements all over the United States. I have spoken on a variety of topics before parents and hearing loss support groups, educational institutions and non-profit organizations. My child and I were two of four people featured in a public service video about cochlear implants directed by Academy Award nominee, Josh Aaronson of Sound and Fury fame. The video was widely distributed to thousands of people worldwide, shown to hundreds of convention attendees and, for many years, ran in a continuous loop at EPCOT in Disney World.

Today, I use cochlear implants to hear, as does one of my children and my husband. We have five cochlear implants among us and are grateful to have a remarkable quality of life. My children are grown and almost flown and I'm back to share more lessons I've learned over the years.

I am committed to empowering families who are facing the challenges of

raising children with disabilities.

You are not alone. Join me and learn how I found the strength to become the parent and advocate that my child needed and how you can too.

XoXo,

Paula Rosenthal, J.D. (she/her) is deaf and uses cochlear implants to hear. Her husband and one of her three children also use cochlear implants. Paula is an award-winning advocate for people with hearing loss and their families. She blogs at PaulaRosenthal.com and is available for speaking engagements. To contact her, please send an email to thepaularosenthal@gmail.com.

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